Everything lately is so overwhelming. My housemate is acting like she’s mad at me for unknown reasons. Our lease is up in two months, and we still don’t know where we are moving to, despite calling numerous places. The pharmacy canceled my prescription refills and I’m almost out of medicine.
Although that probably sounds like a list of complaints, it is more a list of reasons I feel overwhelmed. In some ways it feels good to realize that this time, there actually are legitimate reasons – because sometimes I’m overwhelmed and don’t even know why.
Sometimes, making a simple lunch is too much. At least this time I can tell my husband why I’m curled up crying on the floor. Being overwhelmed feels so tangible – I sketched what it felt like out, so I could show my husband and he could better understand.
My head will explode. The electricity runs along my skin. Make it stop. MAKE IT STOP! Curl up, cover my ears. It will go away. It always comes back, but I only have to make it through this time. I saw a T.V. show recently where the main character would count to ten, then start over again when she finished. You can stand anything for ten seconds, she would say. Well, I just have to make it through this time being overwhelmed. One day at a time.
The feeling of being overwhelmed is overflowing. My skin cannot contain it. Sometimes I feel like my skin is too small for everything – everyone – within it, but that’s another post. For now I just have to remember to take it slow. To breathe and stay in the moment. Breathe. Just make it through today.
We will find an apartment. I might run out of medicine, but will be able to get more. My housemate won’t stay mad forever.
Just breathe. You’ll make it through today.